is....

A peace of mind....

.....

I browsed my music library and found this profound music and lyrics from Brian May...

wanna join to sing?

SAVE ME
It started off so well
They said we made a perfect pair
I clothed myself in your glory and your love
How I loved you
How I cried...
The years of care and loyalty
Were nothing but a sham it seems
The years belie we lived a lie
I love you till I die
Save me save me save me
I cant face this life alone
Save me save me save me...
Im naked and Im far from home

The slate will soon be clean
Ill erase the memories
To start again with somebody new
Was it all wasted
All that love? ...
I hang my head and I advertise
A soul for sale or rent
I have no heart Im cold inside
I have no real intent
Save me save me save me
I cant face this life alone
Save me save me save me...
Im naked and Im far from home

Each night I cry I still believe the lie
I love you till I die
Save me save me save me
Dont let me face my life alone
Save me save me ooh...
Im naked and Im far from home

dedicated to my soul..:-)

He's so humble
He took that role for the sake of defending the "right"
He's a proof that Life is 'way too short' to be wasted
He shown the real meaning of 'repentance'

This so called earth is not a destination
It's only a transit place

I was on my way through the Kebun Jeruk high way, when a full loaded truck was before me. I was little scared, since the road was narrow and up high. That time I was thinking about the life, how short it will. And the fact that life is so fragile. It's beyond our comprehension how a life of someone can change in second.Suddenly my phone rang. I was speechless when a colleague told me that Gito Rollies was just passed away.

My deepest condolence to Gito Rollies...
May you rest in peace
You certainly has touched many lives...--> The goal of every human....

note: The picture is taken during the shooting of KANGEN BAND - FTV Aku Memaang Kampungan produced by AmaarDyo Pictura...

Good Bye Om Gito...

hehehehehehehheheh....

Banyak orang mencoba terlihat "agak nyeleneh" gak mainstream...
Padahal arti mainstream sendiri apa sih?

Musik itu untuk "DIDENGAR" bukan untuk diteliti notnya kampungan atau "Keren"
Tulisan itu harus punya sesuatu untuk "DIBACA"
Film itu untuk dinikmati susah atau senang

Bagus atau tidak bagus gak ada ukurannya...
Hanya hati kecil yang tidak pernah bohong itu, yang akan menjawab...

Gak ada musik indie atau musik gak indie
semuanya itu cuma eksistensi

Ujung - ujungnya...
Untuk musik, coba pejamkan mata dan dengarkan...
Untuk tulisan, coba tutup telinga dan baca
Untuk film atau sinetron, coba tutup pintu, duduk sendiri dan nikmati...

Jangan terpengaruh dengan orang lain!
Hanya orang mainstream yang masih menilai sesuatu dari luarnya!!!
Jadi gak usah dikotak - kotakan HINA atau tidak...

:-)
Esensinya ada di hati...
di hati...
dan cuma di hati....

Dedicated to shallow minded people all over Indonesia...
hehehehheheheh

tabikkk....

Bustle and hustle
The sirens wails when the door opens
a caucasian with green shirt just entered
two indonesians' face just emerged near my table
Then they spoke in foreign language...

The four guys are seating in a circle. What is their job? Are they a business man or what?
I checked my time limit, I have reached 45 minutes of usage. Still got 4 hours and 15 minutes. The sun is shinning brightly, I looked out of the glass wall. Outside people are smoking freely, burning their money in a form of tobacco. Hmm it's been two weeks I tried to quit smoking. Yeah, I prefer the cold of AC rather then the heat and the smells of nicotine.

A shy girls enters, I stop myself and look at her. She is holding her purse so tight. Hmmm How in the world I think that she's a shy girl. No she's not. She just is looked like a bit feminine. That's it.

I ran from my cabin today. Escape to the theater near me. I just saw a touching Indonesian film. I like Bambang...a genuine and very rare to find. I am "automatically romantic" all of a sudden...

My wheels took me to the down town, where the coffee is their passion, and you can also eat the "king" wrapped in a bun. In the name of searching an inspiration, I excuse and let myself to be where the old times occurred. Back then I was a broadcaster. On the eight floor I used to spread my thought from the microphone. I used to walk around just to find a home fragrance oil.


Yeah here I am.
In the heart of the city.
Sarinah Area...
Sip the chocolate and try to get an idea ....
Pfuih...what an escapade...

for the opportunity I have to explore my capability without deprived by the so called "social rule" that female should stay at home or only take care the family. I saw and heard so many female have to convince her husband for their freedom. I really thank God that mostly I can do many things I like without any fear that my husband will limit my freedom. And this freedom is not for me to spoil it but to spend it wisely.

I should be thankful more for that for other females are dying to have at least time for theirselves...

So, what else I could ask for more....?

The sun heats her skin. She sips the lime juice she bought just a minute ago. Now it's quarter glass empty. She perspires a lot. She looks at the sky but there's nothing to see for it's too bright. She looks around, there's no place to hide from the sun. The heat has reached 48 degrees Celsius. She recalls when the sun heated the earth last month. She was running to the tunnel where ends to the shell she always loves. She throws the plastic glass and heads to the tunnel. She whistles the song she uses to sing when she reached the shell.

She enters the tunnel. It's getting narrow, why? She's confused. She keeps on going to the tunnel. Last time when she enters this tunnel she can see the colorful paintings, the chandelier, she can hear the soulful voice singing its heart out, she can feel the warm of its hug. Now, the tunnel is strangely changed. It's cold and empty. She felt so aloof. She tries to keep on walking to the end.

There she is, in the shell. She slowly opens the door. It's dark. "Hello.....I am here..." She tries to tell her presence. No answer, No music, No light like before. The fear ambushes her. "Are you there?" She calls again. And No answer..The door is closed. She's startled. She tries to open it and at the same time the light in on. She smiles, there she sees it. "Oh, I thought you're gone somewhere" She heads to it and about to hug it. It steps back and says "Go away, Leave this shell...you don't belong to its shell anymore". She's stunned "What do you mean?" It pushes her to the door. The door is opened. It pushes her more and now she's already out side the shell. "What did I do wrong?" she shouts.

BANG!! The door is banged. Like a slap in her face she felt so hurt. All of a sudden she feels suffocated. She runs out of the tunnel. All flashes of the time she always spent in the tunnel and in the shell are dancing before her eyes. Suffocatingly she runs out as if she tries to fight the devil of her own memories. She screams "Enough...."...

She's now out of the tunnel. The heat of the sun shrouds her immediately. She's suffocated and fainted. At her surrounding people are passing by. One of them stops and looks at her and mutters "Hmmm, another victim of the sun..." then he continues walking. Down on the cracking soil she lays down out of breath. Nobody cares as it's very usual happening in the day time. And what about the "night time".. The wolf will take every "body" or corpse which left abandon on every soil in the city..

To be continued...

As usual every Saturday I spent times with my lovely son - LANGIT-. We went to Taman Angrek Mall - The nearest mall in my neighborhood-. Lots "Sale" sign everywhere in many stores. One store captured me was NEXT. After choosing one red top, I paid them. While busy paying the top shirt, I saw langit played with the small size number sign. After payment I left the store. Suddenly Langit said to me that "It fell down, but it's ok"...I stopped walking and asked him "What is fell down?" It turned out he dropped the small number sign that he took when I was paying the shirt. For fraction of seconds I was thinking to just leave cause anyhow that small thing fell down in the store area. But I then decided to turn back and asked him to bring it back to the cashier counter and told him to apologize to the shop assistant for taking the size sign. He did that without any comment.

I was so proud of him!
That day I only bought him one toy and a book. It wasn't expensive, but I believed I just gave him a lesson to be a responsible person. I wish he would remember what I taught him to do. Toys, pleasure, and any material things can be bought, but not a morality.....

So for the precious person in my life, I have to present the best of the best..
I love you Langit...
:)

The tears rolled on my cheek literally just the moment I saw the news on tv yesterday. The inspiring comedian has left to the house of Allah. He was between death and alive in a car accident cause by a reckless truck driver.

As per the news, the truck driver was about to after two car/truck in front him but he eventually bumped to a car where Taufik was in. The inevitable accident has swallowed the three lives including Taufik. And the driver was too tired and his truck apparently was too heavy. But this is Indonesia, where nothing's impossible except justice. So this truck driver has bribed the guy in a measurement bridge, so then he could easily run the truck without being stopped.

Voila another accident shows that how bad the Indonesian driver. Who's to blame? I don't know..
Maybe as a driver we have to respect others, do not ignore the indicator sign from other vehicle, do not split to other vehicle :)...and so so...

To Taufik Savalas..May God Grants you with the best place ever in heaven...
May your good deeds inspires us immortally..
that nothing could last forever..
Life is not about how much money you earn...but how much/many you can share to others..especially to less fortunate human...

credit:
picture taken from indosiar.com

Let me smile today God..
In the name of your "Akbar"
In the name of your mercy
In the name of your love..

in the name of my faith, let me smile today God..
Let me feel the breeze that I believe it's mine...

For the fate and the faith..
I believe everything will fall on its place, no where else..
So, please let me God....

Good evening baby....

 

Eventually I can connect to internet--arrghghghghg...----, a portal to all possibilities. I am not exaggerating, yet it’s quite true how I consider internet as an air…that for nearly 3 days I was “suffocated” without it..

 

So many things happened lately…If I was reckless, then I might be ended up disorientated about myself…

Don’t know just how..i succumbed in to the blank hole of the past..

That left me with nothing but gloomy, scary, sad..and whatever negativity ruled..The reality let my past pull me in to it...

 

I was shivering…and still am, right now…

 

To be continued…

Word of today and yesterday.

According to the Dictionary, here's the meaning of the word BLAME

Tr.v.  blamed, blame-ing, blames

1. To hold responsible
2. To find fault with; censure
3. To place responsibility for (something) : blamed

 n.

1. The state of being responsible for a fault or error, culpability

2. Censure; condemnation

 

 

Idiom

To blame

1. Deserving censure; at fault
2. Being the cause or source of something

 

Baby...
For two days in a row, I passed many things which all carried the word "BLAME" . Everybody seems to define their own truth apart from the facts. for nobody wants to be blamed. Actually in my perception all subjects are clear. Very obvious! I know where's the problem started. Yet somehow it's gonna be difficult to reveal it, rite?

When we were a kid and got hurt or fallen by/from something, our parents always blamed it on something else instead of telling us that we have to be careful or that's our mistake. Hence psychologically we are grown up with that belief, that if something wrong- even it's our mistake- we tend to put a blame on something or someone else. That explains how the word "Blame" exist- for many decades or even centuries? - in a dictionary till now.

So...baby...
I am not gonna blame anyone for the sensitivity I carried and still up to now due to my PMS. I am mere human. If I did something wrong, please let me know. I will hmm...I'll try not to put a blame on something or someone.

 

 

For nearly two years, my best friend - Heidy - was battling breast cancer and still is till now. To add more sadness, she is pregnant. Ya Allah....

She's now dying on Dharmais Hospital. Last night i came to see her. She looked so weak as she lost her weight and her appetite. The cell has spread in to many vital parts of her body. That caused her hardly swallowed any kind of food. Many times, she refuse to drink.

I was so sad indeed yet I managed to endure the rolling tears from my eyes. I can't show my tears to her and her family since I have to lift her spirit. As per my conversation with her sibling, the whole family members except her mum are fully aware that heidy can't stand the pain of illness. Sigh...

As I have to lift her spirit, I whispered to her ear "Heidy my dear, be strong. Never loose the hope. Let Allah show his greatness and send his miracle to you. Surrender to Allah...and let him save the rest...

She didn't react anything. Her eyes are closed. After spending 2 hours, I left the hospital. Down in the lobby I started to cry. I was so sad. Heidy is my best best friend. She was always there when i need a help or two. She was always lifted my spirit when I am down. She's like an angel to me. I don't want to loose her. No, I don't ....Ya Allah..mercy my best friend...Give her the healthy life she once lived back then...please...

Ya Allah, why do good people have to suffer?

To my beloved girl friend..May Allah give you the strength..amien...