thetranquilizer's posts with tag: contemplating
is....
A peace of mind....
.....
|  | I just found this painting couple days ago by the hand of an angel who kept it secretly...
"Looking back to those moments in the past through my sketch, makes me realize that things happened literally for the best reasons...." |
 | Save me | Mar 3, '08 3:02 AM
for everyone |
I browsed my music library and found this profound music and lyrics from Brian May...
wanna join to sing?
SAVE ME
It started off so well
They said we made a perfect pair
I clothed myself in your glory and your love
How I loved you
How I cried...
The years of care and loyalty
Were nothing but a sham it seems
The years belie we lived a lie
I love you till I die
Save me save me save me
I cant face this life alone
Save me save me save me...
Im naked and Im far from home
The slate will soon be clean
Ill erase the memories
To start again with somebody new
Was it all wasted
All that love? ...
I hang my head and I advertise
A soul for sale or rent
I have no heart Im cold inside
I have no real intent
Save me save me save me
I cant face this life alone
Save me save me save me...
Im naked and Im far from home
Each night I cry I still believe the lie
I love you till I die
Save me save me save me
Dont let me face my life alone
Save me save me ooh...
Im naked and Im far from home
dedicated to my soul..:-)
 He's so humble He took that role for the sake of defending the "right" He's a proof that Life is 'way too short' to be wasted He shown the real meaning of 'repentance' This so called earth is not a destination It's only a transit place I was on my way through the Kebun Jeruk high way, when a full loaded truck was before me. I was little scared, since the road was narrow and up high. That time I was thinking about the life, how short it will. And the fact that life is so fragile. It's beyond our comprehension how a life of someone can change in second.Suddenly my phone rang. I was speechless when a colleague told me that Gito Rollies was just passed away. My deepest condolence to Gito Rollies... May you rest in peace You certainly has touched many lives...--> The goal of every human.... note: The picture is taken during the shooting of KANGEN BAND - FTV Aku Memaang Kampungan produced by AmaarDyo Pictura... Good Bye Om Gito...
hehehehehehehheheh....
Banyak orang mencoba terlihat "agak nyeleneh" gak mainstream...
Padahal arti mainstream sendiri apa sih?
Musik itu untuk "DIDENGAR" bukan untuk diteliti notnya kampungan atau "Keren"
Tulisan itu harus punya sesuatu untuk "DIBACA"
Film itu untuk dinikmati susah atau senang
Bagus atau tidak bagus gak ada ukurannya...
Hanya hati kecil yang tidak pernah bohong itu, yang akan menjawab...
Gak ada musik indie atau musik gak indie
semuanya itu cuma eksistensi
Ujung - ujungnya...
Untuk musik, coba pejamkan mata dan dengarkan...
Untuk tulisan, coba tutup telinga dan baca
Untuk film atau sinetron, coba tutup pintu, duduk sendiri dan nikmati...
Jangan terpengaruh dengan orang lain!
Hanya orang mainstream yang masih menilai sesuatu dari luarnya!!!
Jadi gak usah dikotak - kotakan HINA atau tidak...
:-)
Esensinya ada di hati...
di hati...
dan cuma di hati....
Dedicated to shallow minded people all over Indonesia...
hehehehheheheh
tabikkk....
 Bustle and hustle The sirens wails when the door opens a caucasian with green shirt just entered two indonesians' face just emerged near my table Then they spoke in foreign language... The four guys are seating in a circle. What is their job? Are they a business man or what? I checked my time limit, I have reached 45 minutes of usage. Still got 4 hours and 15 minutes. The sun is shinning brightly, I looked out of the glass wall. Outside people are smoking freely, burning their money in a form of tobacco. Hmm it's been two weeks I tried to quit smoking. Yeah, I prefer the cold of AC rather then the heat and the smells of nicotine. A shy girls enters, I stop myself and look at her. She is holding her purse so tight. Hmmm How in the world I think that she's a shy girl. No she's not. She just is looked like a bit feminine. That's it. I ran from my cabin today. Escape to the theater near me. I just saw a touching Indonesian film. I like Bambang...a genuine and very rare to find. I am "automatically romantic" all of a sudden... My wheels took me to the down town, where the coffee is their passion, and you can also eat the "king" wrapped in a bun. In the name of searching an inspiration, I excuse and let myself to be where the old times occurred. Back then I was a broadcaster. On the eight floor I used to spread my thought from the microphone. I used to walk around just to find a home fragrance oil. Yeah here I am. In the heart of the city. Sarinah Area... Sip the chocolate and try to get an idea .... Pfuih...what an escapade...
for the opportunity I have to explore my capability without deprived by the so called "social rule" that female should stay at home or only take care the family. I saw and heard so many female have to convince her husband for their freedom. I really thank God that mostly I can do many things I like without any fear that my husband will limit my freedom. And this freedom is not for me to spoil it but to spend it wisely.
I should be thankful more for that for other females are dying to have at least time for theirselves...
So, what else I could ask for more....?
This was what happened in 2 years back on this day 16 November 2005(I also wrote in my blog) Two years a go on this day I successfully settled all the bills and that time I am debt free. After struggling to pay all those stupidity I committed, I eventually could inhale. Oh I forgot to mention. On that month I haven't got any settle job except freelancing. :) Now let's leap to a year ago on the same date 16 November 2006.On this month a year ago, I was working in this company. Working hard with no heart:). Almost every month I got the urge to resign but there's no tempting place to run. Then I read an announcement in this foundation. I immediately apply. Passed several tests but...but....decided to quit from the program since I got the offer from this little but loud green planet. So looking back to what I've been through and experienced made me realize that in every obstacle there'll be a way out of it. For God has a plan to each of us and what I have to do is to believe that those plans were, are, and will be the best plan for me. :)
In the blessing month Ramadhan, like YOU ALWAYS DID, YOU show YOUR GREATNESS..
I am more convinced that GOOD THINGS COME FOR THOSE WHO WAIT FOR THOSE WHO HAVE FAITH IN YOU!!..
Thank you Allah...
Laillahaillah..Allahu Akbar!!
Our mind deteriorates corruptly nowadays. Every "human" is now trying to play "God". Nothing looks sincere to be sensed. My mum told me that I should never take any revenge for what ever "evil" others may send me. We are not here to punish other human, My mum said. She adds "It's a God's Job.
So I am here battling my anger towards an evil who thought that money can buy everything. I still believe in God. I believe there's nothing more powerful than God. So I will only take all the bad demeanor from that "evil" as an obstacle for me.
I still believe in God. There's no any reason to have a fear in any Evils power...
I will not take any revenge, I will leave it to God.
What comes around goes around..
Protect and Bless me God...
| Move on | Apr 1, '07 12:06 PM
for everyone |
Good hmmm..Evening?
Why are you so afraid of saying good bye while you know that
at the end everything will be expired?
Like the rain that always falls..
Like the sun that always burns…
Like the gravity that always glues your feet to the ground
when you’re walking
Like a pregnancy that only woman can experience…
There are many things in life that we can’t change…It’s its
nature…
Like or dislike you have to live with that..
Why bother the tears, while you know that the joy awaits you
on the queue..
Pack your bag, encourage yourself…
And say it out loud…”GOOD BYE…SO LONG”…
The pain will only remain for few weeks....
Trust me…
Dedicated to the one who’s so afraid to say Good Bye…
Purple haze is on my mind, sang Jimi Hendrix. I nodded... So true. I wasn't smoking pot nor other addicted breeze. Yet still i felt as what uncle Jimi shouted on my ears this morning. Foolishly sentimental? No it isn't foolish, yet so unreasonable. Some say if you want to know the reason why things happen in the present time, you have to look back to the past. So conventionally, I thought! It's connected! Says who? people might changed quickly than any light could be. One can break the relativity theory of Mr. Einstein for this belief.
"You know that it would be untrue, you know that i would be a liar, if I was to say to you...Girl we couldn't get much higher ..." Another Jim..but Morrisson..waken me up. Sluggish creature may stupidly commit the same mistake. Yet if one's clever, one can take a glimpse of other's ulterior motive. Or ...or...Like the lyrics I just sang, Somehow, somewhere..."we probably knew already, that someone, somebody, or any close person, has an ulterior motive..yet for the sake of a trust..we simply eat all the "poison" they gracefully give us...
OUCH...reality really bites..
Excuse Me While I kiss the Sky...
 March 2005, this worker started working in this company as a Public Relations. She worked so excitedly that she didn't realize what's bad about to ambush her. She planned the PR strategic and set up the tools of it. She presented to the top management.
At first the boss approved the press release and all the plans. Later one incident made her taken a back that how inconsistently a man so called "boss" in stating his mind. She was determined, she has to leave the company. If there's one thing that can be taken from a human, that is his/her words. So if one can't keep one's words, that means he/she cannot be reliabled at all. BY ALL MEANS!
Eventually, not more than a month she quited the job. When she walked out of that office, she felt so relief. While looking back at that building, she said to herself "Maybe it's not me who will "pay back" all the disrespects, but I believe someday "you" will have to redeem all your "bad deeds"...
1st January 2007 - Adam Air Plane was missing!
11 January 2007 They found the part of Adam Air Plane..
According to liputan6.com 16 pilots resigned from Adam Air due to the oppression of ADAM AIR TOP MANAGEMENT! One pilot also confessed that the interference of ADAM AIR TOP MANAGEMENT every time they fled the plane. That is solely for the sake of "money". The TOP MANAGEMENT asked the pilots to take the short way to economize the fuel....OH MY GOD...:(
She took a deep breathe..exhale...How she was sorry for the accident...She is now in her reminiscence of the gone by years..What if she's still working in that company...maybe she has to face many medias, and on top of that SHE HAS TO LIE...
She thanks GOD for giving her guts to leave that company...She prays and wishes that all victims of the missing Adam Air plane, can be found soon...
And last but not least..Again...
"Nothing's in this world could be taken for granted!"picture courtesy of liputan6.com
reluctant
be forced to
less-enjoyment
mingling
hugging
awkward
sparkling
mischievous
shy
brave
stunned
scare
confuse
painful
..regret..
That's the rule of a life and it happened to me this morning. As always wednesday is a nervous day. I was in ATM when bos called to ask something regarding the shows I am handling. Simultaneously I received a sms of rating and it was so damn "surprising". That time I was shaken a bit. Anxiety ambushed imediately. Actually I am not happy with the verdict yet I am a bit happy on the other hand. My prediction is quite "correct" in terms of the "fucking" tv trend of the week, month or whatsoever.
Anyhow...Yeah baby...I win some I loose some..
I just have to smile at whatever in front of me..C'est la Vie...
Even to a darkness past which emerged blatantly...
Whatever it is...Yeah at least if I loose some..I still win some...:)
I shall clone myself..
I shall deviate the sadness into happiness
I guarantee that I will not cry
Yeah, If I were not me...baby..
Baby,
Did I tell you that during this afternoon the sky looked very cloudy? Maybe it represented the heart of many lives. Now, the rain literally falls. Here I am before my glass window, watching the tears of clouds fall heavily. The cold of my room temperature, somehow successfully nab the "feelings" of loneliness that secretly lurk in a corner of my heart. Why am I always being sentimental when rain falls? Even when I hear the word "rain", my sentimental certainly emerges...
Just before I want to publish this post, the rain stops..
Sigh....From the fifth floor I can see the rain left the traces on the wet soil...
Hmmm...Now I wish I could see the rainbow, that I rarely seen one since ages......
Is it wrong that I am being honest?
Leave your rage, this is for our succeed..
I don't have any ulterior motive!
You might deny the truth in front of me..but at least don't lie to yourself...For there's a God inside of us...
YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
FOR ME, THERE ARE ONLY TWO KINDS OF DEAD PEOPLE,
ONE WHO DIED IN FEAR CAUSE HE/SHE CAN'T DEFEND THE TRUTH..
AND THE OTHER WHO DIED IN PEACE CAUSE HE/SHE CAN DEFEND THE TRUTH..
How many sweat of jealousy you burst?
How many ulterior motive you hide under your skin?
For every cake that spreads on your plate, don't you even feel enough? Eat it first, digest according to your capacity not your demand instead.
Let me give you the water, the plain water that can purify all those shallow minds in your brain. Drink it, your soul might need that.
I didn't say that am a secure sort of creature..
But the way you sway your thought, the way you gaze the opportunity, the way you smile when you see the "cake", make my tongue crippled. I can't say it more, I can't say it less. It's defined...You are an insecure creature ..INSIDE OUT
Another scribes of thoughts
I thought this is gonna take me high
But it turned out it shifted me backwards
The ward that was never letting me go...
May I sip that wine?
For I wish it's mine
Let me cherish the caress once I had
Don't let the frantic owns me
If it's a hell then make it heaven
While I know I am still in between dreams...
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